I Don't Buy Snowpants in August!

        Recently (the dead of February) both of my children ran out of mittens and neck warmers. For those of you who don’t know what a neck warmer is, it’s a nifty invention that is basically a scarf, made into a tube that fits around your neck and lacks the potential to hang yourself. This is a particular benefit in my house where my children embark upon daily quests to kill one another.

Ok back to my original point, no neck warmers or mittens. Now you may be wondering where the mittens and neck warmers went, because we had to have needed them before the middle of February, well to be honest I have no idea. I mean I have some theories, but nothing concrete. I believe in Andrew’s case he eats them. I mean every time I look at the kid he is chewing on some kind of fabric like a demented goat.  In fact we have a little rhyme at our house to remind him to stop doing it: “You’re not a goat, so don’t chew your coat.” As for Jaxson, I think he is selling them to get money to fund his evil plans to take over the world.

So yesterday I went out to buy some replacement winter gear, which you wouldn’t think would be such a difficult task in the middle of winter; however, I was sadly mistaken.  Every store I went into was completely devoid of all winter supplies. In fact in more than one store the associates were setting up displays of sandals, shorts and t-shirts. What the #%*$@! We are in the middle of one of the worst winters in a long time and they are setting up racks of summer clothing??? Are these people crazy? I mean in Wal-Mart they had an entire section filled with garden accessories, decorations and seeds for vegetable gardens. Hey Wal-Mart, FYI my garden is under 10 feet of snow! I am pretty sure gardening is NOT in any of my immediate plans.

Now for those of you who know me, I am not the shyest or quietist individual, so I asked one of the associates why they were doing this? With a look of embarrassment the person told me that this is how the retail industry operates. She said it had something to do with when they had to order stuff and when it had to be delivered. This does not make sense.  I mean I can order from almost any of these stores websites and get the stuff the next day, or within a week at the latest, so how can their stores not do the same. By the way these are rhetorical questions, I really do not care, so please do not try and interrupt my rant against the retail establishment.

After giving me this sad explanation about the inner workings of the retail industry the lady actually told me that the best time to buy winter clothing is in August. IN AUGUST!!!!! So if during the winter your kids grow out of their snowpants, loose their mittens or eat their hats, you are out of luck because the retail industry has deemed August the time when you should need to buy this stuff.

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