Everybody drops their baby!

Ok so this is one of those topics that people NEVER talk about. I think it’s because we are all afraid that CAS has special listening devices everywhere and at the slightest mention of any transgression or questionable decision is going to result in their swooping down and taking your kids. This my friends will not happen. Trust me on numerous occasions I have begged the supposed CAS listeners in my walls to take my kids because I just can’t take them anymore. No one ever comes.

 Now back to the topic at hand.  Most of us have all dropped our babies, or made a questionable decision that led to the injury of said baby. I mean it is inevitable if you think about it. You give a couple this little tiny being in the hospital after both parents have gone through labour which as far as I am concerned has probably caused them to have some kind of PTSD, because no one really thinks that giant baby is going to fit until they see or experience it and then after wished there was an MIB agent standing at the front doors of the hospital with a neuralizor . I mean giving birth is a seriously traumatic event…..but that is a topic for another time.

 So you give this poor couple who may or may not be suffering from PTSD this little tiny baby and then you send them home with no manual. Seriously???? I actually asked my obstetrician to go back in and look for it. I mean if my toaster came with a textbook size manual to make two lousy pieces of toast than surely a tiny human being should come with like a set of encyclopaedias. 

So you have two people who may or may not have PTSD, who have no manual on how to operate this tiny baby and you send them home where they will be kept up by said baby for like the next 2o years or so. How could bad things not happen????When my son was about 7 months old, I was about 2 months pregnant (cannot stress how bad that timing was, but that’s a story for another time), and I was changing my son Andrew and putting him in new clothes. I had stupidly not planned this exercise put well and had left his clothes just out of reach.  So instead of putting the baby down  in his crib, I tried to keep one finger on him and reach for his clothes. Since I am not inspector gadget this did not turn out well. Just as I reached for the clothes Andrew decided to roll over and off of his change table. I ran to him and picked him up and after he finished crying, which was over in like five seconds, he started to laugh at me freaking out.  Several things were happening in my mind at this time.

First I couldn’t believe I had just let my baby fall

Second was a little impressed that he had bounced.

Third I decided that I was the worst parent in the universe

Forth I was waiting for those CAS people in the walls to come and take my baby away.

After sitting on the floor for like ten minutes and rocking Andrew, while hysterically crying I called the doctor’s office. When the doctor heard Andrew laughing at me he asked me to come in so he could give me a checkup and that he was more than sure that Andrew was ok but was not sure about me. This is when the crazy part started. When I got to the doctor’s office all of the doctor’s office staff started to tell me all of these horror stories about accidents that had occurred to their babies in  an attempt to make me feel better.  Almost everyone had  a dropped the baby story; in fact one woman told me about how she did not buckle her son into the car properly and when she went around a corner the car door came open and he flew out of the car and somehow she ended up reversing the car over him. Now before anyone calls CAS he was fine and is now all grown up.

 Their attempts to normalize this event for me made me realize that these things happen all of the time and that no one talks about it.  Shit happens! However, one thing I have learned after parenting two little boys for the last little while is that babies are bouncy and thank god for that.